Vol 100: The changing tide
I was born in Nassau, Bahamas, many years after the 1960s civil rights movement and segregation fight that plagued America, our closest neighbor. So, as a young black child, with the fortune of time, I was mercifully and geographically shielded from the weight of my own complexion. And, even though I grew up in a biracial family, race thankfully never entered our day-to-day conversation. It was only with age, travel, a lot of experience and a bit of research that I discovered the intricacies of religion, skin color and culture on human acceptance and perceived value.
Today, on New Providence, races comingle, families intertwine and few count their friends by number of white, black or brown. In that regard, not much has changed in the years since I was a young boy. But, while The Bahamas enjoys an overriding peace despite a few unpleasant undercurrents, we are in the minority of nations so blessed. Throughout the rest of the world there’s been a changing tide and the dormant ‘us versus them’ mentality now takes center stage.
If you think I’m exaggerating, you need look no further than the evening news. Don’t get me wrong, throughout history there have always been certain sectors of society who’ve been at odds; Native Americans versus American settlers, Blacks versus Whites, Jews versus Arabs or in even broader terms, rich versus poor. But somehow the civility of discourse has become notably eroded and no side is willing to listen to the other. In the US, republicans versus democrats offers a sound example.
The precipitating cause for this change is unknown to me but I speculate it’s deeply rooted in fear. As that fear boils over, people typically become angry and irrational so the central tenets of decency and democracy are being challenged more than ever. And yet, to rectify it is so simple. The two sides have to be willing to listen to one another. They have to be willing, in the words of Atticus Finch, to climb into someone else’s skin and walk around in it. The warmth and sentimentality of the looming holidays elicits a time of love and giving, which in this moment presents the best opportunity to alter course.
This past thanksgiving, I thought a lot about what we as a nation have to be thankful for and the list is exhaustive. If more people in The Bahamas, one of the most beautiful countries on planet Earth, adopted an attitude of gratitude, our country would become infinitely better overnight. In this same regard, I challenged a few patients to reveal what they were most grateful for and to then do something for someone they love to express their gratitude. Many shared thanks for their parents, their children and their spouses. Others were thankful for a job, a roof over their head and a warm meal on a daily basis.
I’m grateful for my incredible family, staff and office manager, a small circle of great friends, stellar health and my patients. One such patient earlier this week took two buses on her day off and passed countless other doctors to see me for treatment of her chronic heel pain. The following day, another patient flew in from Abaco just to see me and returned to the airport immediately following his visit. Similarly, a young woman who attends school in Switzerland refused to have her foot ailment treated by anyone but me and waited for her thanksgiving break to do just that. I am eternally grateful for all my patients but especially ones like those who travel and entrust me with their care. I appreciate them as much as they seem to appreciate me.
This week also gave me a chance to be grateful for this, my 100th column, and the chance to help patients beyond the four walls of my office. Gratitude is a sentiment that should be pervasive year-round and not only during the holidays. Something my patients and I bond over is our desire to celebrate the triumphs of not just ourselves and closest loved ones, but also our friends, neighbors and fellow countrymen at every available opportunity.
I’m even more grateful that on social media (tiktok.com/@dr.kennethdkemp), I have a series called ‘why I’m grateful’ where I ask different celebrities what they’re most grateful for and they graciously responded in kind. Singer and actress Tamela Mann and her husband David were most grateful for life, health, love and family. Basketball legend and successful entrepreneur Magic Johnson was equally grateful for health and family. Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk was thankful for his family and the ability to still be working in his profession at the age of 55. The former President of Mexico, Vicente Fox, said that he was grateful that he was given the chance to lead his country.
Meanwhile former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was grateful that he was pardoned by President Donald Trump, after spending eight of his fourteen-year sentence in prison on federal charges of public corruption. Singer, dancer and choreographer Paula Abdul was grateful for God, her kind heart and the ability to do what she loves every day. Country music legend, Randy Travis and his wife Mary were most grateful for their Christian faith and salvation and in a deeply moving message, Judge Lynn Toler told me that she was most grateful for her mother.
Heart-warming as they sound, people aren’t watching, much less pressing the like and share buttons. Like I said, the tide is changing. Videos about food, dancing and animals still garner significant attention. But those featuring beautiful, provocatively clothed or entirely undressed, individuals are more coveted with remarkably higher engagement. Wholesome, feel-good videos simply don’t sell quite as much anymore. That’s why news reports are inundated with doom and gloom stories and barely a sprinkle of positivity. This is a huge juxtaposition from the 50s and 60s where advertisers couldn’t dream of showing a woman’s bare arms and television shows like “I Love Lucy’, ‘The Three Stooges’, ‘Bewitched’, ‘Leave it to Beaver’ and ‘The Brady Bunch’ ruled the airwaves.
In a world that more-than-ever celebrates self-love and acceptance, the general populace en masse now prefers to complain rather than applaud. Despite that, there is still so much this holiday season to be thankful for. I’d even venture to guess that if the question of ‘why are you grateful’ is posed to various people from different backgrounds locally, their answers, like those of my celebrity participants, will share parallel sentiments. That’s because despite our differences and the wars around us, deep down inside the nostalgia of our youth remains pervasive and we realize things could be much worse.
When I started this column two years ago, I never imagined it would become as popular as it has. In retrospect, I suspect its popularity hinges on the fact that it consistently serves as a looking glass into what others have endured and in doing so reminds us how lucky we truly are; how thankful we should all be. A truly unintended side effect of a desire to help and educate but one I’m most proud of.
I encourage all my readers throughout this holiday season and beyond to be more thankful because gratitude is a magnet for miracles and in this changing world, we could all benefit from the opportunity to just breathe, say thanks and count our many blessings.
This is The KDK Report.
