Vol 55: Four feet below
When obligations conflict with one another, whether it’s work versus family, or friends versus other demands, it may start as little more than a slight irritation or hurdle to overcome and then quickly mushroom into what feels like an insurmountable mountain. Sometimes trying but failing to climb that mountain leads to a gut punching sense of failure where you begin to feel like there’s no way out and you’re being sucked under by quicksand. The farther you sink into the unknown, the more you feel like death is closing in and you’re drowning, just four feet below the surface.
Some people are able to extricate themselves from this recursive vortex by relying on the warmth and comfort of loved ones or their religious beliefs. But, for others, coping with persistent conflict in the form of cascading stressors can lead to physical or mental deterioration. So, they often turn to negative vices that provide momentary relief in a desperate attempt to cloak the pain.
Today, I introduce you to a patient, hereafter referred to as Tommy, who survived a near-fatal cardiac emergency when, in his early 40s, the aorta in his heart suddenly burst. Tommy is employed in law enforcement and the enormous stress of his job, coupled with the overwhelming grief from the death of his parents, caused his blood pressure to rise dramatically and remain elevated for several months.
Then, the day before Easter, he got up and felt a ball of fire in his chest and stomach. Tommy describes it as feeling like a volcano erupted inside of him with hot lava exploding, setting fire to his internal organs. He was drenched in sweat. With an intense headache, dizzy and confused, Tommy felt like he wanted to vomit and lost control of his bowels. His heart now pounding ferociously, he collapsed to the floor. Lying there, it felt as though one rope was tied to his arms and another to his feet and he was being pulled in separate directions, torn apart and eliciting unbelievable pain.
Tommy was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room and his pain persisted for the next hour until he could be evaluated by a cardiac surgeon and placed intravenously on a schedule two narcotic. He underwent life-saving surgery within hours and despite his less than 10% chance of survival, Tommy defied all odds and has lived to share his incredible story with others.
He spent four weeks in the hospital and another two weeks recovering at home before returning to work. It took several months for him to feel almost normal again. Today, he wants readers to understand that he never had any symptoms before this and if it happened to him, it can happen to anyone.
Unfortunately, people are struggling with stress infinitely more today compared to just one decade ago and some say even more than they did pre-pandemic. Perhaps social media, for all of its benefits, is partly to blame. The ability to keep in touch with friends and family and showcase your business to a large audience, often for free, are some of the advantages.
But on balance, always being plugged in and readily accessible comes at a high price. In that regard, social media can far more easily increase the risk of depression and anxiety. The incessant need of people to showcase every aspect of their lives seeking validation and likes from people they rarely, if ever, speak to is a toxic matrix often resulting in a negatively competitive and stressful state.
Multiple studies conducted throughout the years have shown that consistently being stressed increases stress hormones circulating throughout the body. That, coupled with obesity and the increase in heart rate and blood pressure, contributes deleteriously to the development or worsening of heart disease and Diabetes, which can ultimately result in a weakened immune system, stroke or heart attack. For many, it also tears at their sense of worthiness to the point of complete exhaustion. Then the stress, like an invading virus, feeds on itself creating a vicious cycle of being unable to sleep, worrying about the fact that you’re stressed and then being unable to successfully abate these feelings.
The sentiment of being buried four feet reflects the gravity of being so close to death and yet still close enough to the surface to rise above any perceived challenges. Tommy understands this paradigm all too well and cautions readers to attenuate such pressures before it’s too late.
He reflects on his journey with eyes no longer clouded by the naivety of youth and good health. His take home message may sound routine but is worth hearing again because it comes from someone who was at death’s door, being sucked under by the quicksand but able to successfully find a way out. He encourages readers to get an adequate amount of sleep each night, get an annual physical and seek medical care when necessary. He also advocates speaking to someone, whether it be a trusted friend, family member, priest or professional, should the rock on your shoulders become too heavy to carry alone
Other ways to alleviate stress include simply walking away from the stressor that’s creating the toxic environment and chaos in your life. Afterwards, it’s important to connect with positive people who value and support not only you, but those you cherish most. Beyond that, eating a healthy diet, avoiding too much caffeine and alcohol, daily exercise and meditation can foster both physical and mental well-being that’s grounded in something positive and not easily broken should new challenges arise.
Interestingly, the tradition of burying the dead six feet started in London during the great plague of 1665. The plague killed nearly 70,000 people, approximately 15% of the entire London population at that time. The Lord Mayor, in an act of desperation, decried six feet to be the standard burial depth to prevent further spread of infection. A reason for six feet was never stated particularly, but it was inferred to be because that was the deepest depth that a grave digger could go, without needing a ladder to climb back out.
Wild animals constantly live under the stress of dying, be it from being eaten by one of their many predators or themselves being unable to find food and shelter. And yet, the chronic stress posed by their long-term, high-risk situations hasn’t had a negative impact on them. This, according to researchers at the University of Toronto, is because they’ve learned to adapt to it. They simply do what they have to do in order to survive and move on with life, looking forward and never behind, seemingly unphased by their predicament or the prospect of being buried.
Humans can discern a lot from this by learning to take care of themselves first, with no desire to be perfect or impress others and never worrying needlessly. Tommy's now back to work without limitation and though engaged in his work, he doesn’t allow it to consume him any longer. For the sake of his own survival, he makes a concerted effort to consistently employ the aforementioned tools that effectively manage his stress levels and he’s learned to live in the moment, all the while trusting that eventually the rest will all fall into place.
This is The KDK Report.
