Vol 85: On solid ground, part 1
Death is an ever-present shadow, looming and growing more ominous as we age. The older we get, the more the threat of death seems to close in on us.
In healthcare, our ultimate goal as physicians is to help our patients feel better physically, for as long as possible, stopping this shadow from eclipsing their lives. We work tirelessly whether patients fully understand it or not and their appreciation or lack thereof doesn’t diminish our intent. Our job is to preserve both form and function and, for the best amongst us, we do so with a deep sense of pride. But, once the patient leaves our side, they return to a life encapsulated by the same metaphoric walls that landed them in our office to begin with. Many of them, as I’ve learned over the years, are struggling to find their way or, in the very least, hoping to attain proper footing on solid ground.
The patient discussed in today’s report, hereafter referred to as Tyler, was raised by his grandparents on the island of Abaco. As is the case for so many young men today, Tyler never really knew his father so, when his mother traveled abroad to complete her education, she left him in the trusted care of her parents. For Tyler, life was simple and happy. His grandparents taught him manners and respect, especially for his elders. Living with them, he also learned the importance of hard work, the power of a warm hug and a gracious smile and how to live a life of faith and humility.
Their family lived near a creek and Tyler still recalls flying his kite against the salty breeze while his grandfather fished and the bull frogs croaked. And as the swallows of the summer shared their tunes, he filled his belly with fish and cassava, praying the next day would be just as memorable. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, he also performed chores for his neighbors and used the donations from this ‘charitable pursuit’ to purchase candies and frozen treats.
That idyllic life crashed without warning, devastated by Hurricane Floyd in 1999. Tyler was 12 when the Category 4 hurricane swept through, and its intense winds, some of the highest ever recorded, wiped out Tyler’s community. The blessing of living on a creek with all the happy memories it elicited had become their greatest affliction.
No home was left standing. They were all washed away. So, his family and their neighbors traversed the neighborhood using fishing boats along roads that were no longer visible, in search of buildings that no longer existed. To keep him safe, Tyler’s grandparents sent him to live with his mother on an adjacent family island. It was the first time in his life that he wouldn’t be with his grandparents and the abrupt upheaval to his life saddened him immensely. Adjusting wasn’t easy, but Tyler’s life eventually felt normal. He made new friends, but the simple and peaceful existence he once enjoyed with neighbors who treated him like family was over.
When Tyler was 19, a group of friends invited him out but he declined because he had a prior engagement. That evening, those same friends burglarized a commercial establishment and in a case of mistaken identity, Tyler was apprehended by the police. He was taken to a sporting complex and before he could say anything, in a senseless act that obliterates moral sensitivities, at least five police officers began beating him with such intensity he lost his balance and fell to the ground. The blows kept coming, several at one time, over and over again all along his body, each hit feeling like a mini explosion. Tyler can’t recall how long it lasted but by the time they were done, his body was covered in blood, his intestines literally exploding from the blunt force attacks.
Practically unresponsive, barely clinging to life, Tyler was taken to the hospital where he was rushed into surgery. The rupture to his small intestine was so significant that it couldn’t be repaired and had to be removed entirely. The pain was excruciating. He remained in hospital for nearly two months and he couldn’t work or perform lifting of any kind for the next six months. His recovery was slow but gradually progressed toward functional. The multiple scars that currently adorn his body are symbols of his indomitable spirit and a constant reminder of how close he came to dying. But mentally he will never be the same and to this day he remains much more guarded and reserved.
Tyler’s case never garnered the national attention it warranted and even after police apologized, there were never any ramifications for their actions. So, Tyler filed a lawsuit against the government. After 10 years of fighting, he ultimately won his case in 2018 and was awarded an appropriate financial settlement for his pain and suffering. He was most excited to share the news with his grandparents.
Prior to this, Tyler’s grandparents had rebuilt their home and he was excited to spend some time with them, reliving his fondest childhood memories. But following his 70th birthday, and still celebrating 50 years of marriage, Tyler’s grandfather went fishing to pull some traps just before Easter. Like often in the past, he was alone. By night fall when he hadn’t returned, the family knew something was wrong. They frantically arranged a search party. One day after Tyler’s grandfather went out to sea, they found his boat and compressor and a cooler with his cell phone inside but his body was never recovered. The family to this day can’t imagine what may have happened and the empty barrel of unanswered questions is haunting.
The painful void left by his grandfather’s sudden death was paralyzing and Tyler felt like he’d been gut punched all over again, the ground beneath him opening up as he descended perilously into an abyss. To help him through this difficult time, Tyler leaned on his wife of nine years and their three children. They were now living on Andros where his wife was born so his in-laws provided another source of support. Tyler’s mom moved in with his grandmother to help take care of her and that made him worry less. But grief, unfortunately, isn’t a straight line and Tyler has moments where he wishes he could see and talk to his grandfather once more, hating that the man he loved and who taught him so much, spent the last moments of his life afraid and all alone.
Five years later, Tyler’s wish came true in the most horrifying way imaginable. Earlier this year, at a bar following work, he had a seizure at the age of 36 for the first time in his life. He began sweating profusely and his lips trembled as his entire body stiffened and shook uncontrollably. Tyler suffered several more volatile seizures not long afterwards.
In an ambulance, waiting for an emergency flight to transport him to a hospital in Nassau, Tyler (still unconscious) saw his grandfather with his legs crossed, sitting on a beach under a sun-drenched coconut tree and smiling. And as he walked closer to his grandfather, Tyler’s life faded from his body. So, with the shadow of death now circling him decidedly, Tyler’s wife cried softly. Prior to this, her husband had never been sick and had no pre-existing health issues. Shocked, confused and afraid, she tightly squeezed his left hand over and over again and repeatedly pleaded with him to come back to her and their children.
This is The KDK Report.
